Thanksgiving!!

I am very thankful for all of my blessings this Thanksgiving! Soy muy agradecido para todas de mi bendiciones este dia de accion de Gracias. God is so good!! Dios es muy bueno!! I want to thank You Lord for everything You have given me. Yo quiero a Gracias Senor para todo Usted todo lo que me ha dado. I am so blessed. Yo soy muy bendita.

When you think about Thanksgiving, what pops into mind? Do you think about everything you can get the night/day after during 'Black Friday'? Are you ready to stuff your belly with food and forget about the many blessings God has given us? Like our family, our friends, Himself? His Son, who bled in a torturous death that made recompense for our deadly sins. Our kind neighbor, who watches the home when we are gone. That friend, who never gives up on you whether you try to rid yourself of them or not; what a blessing they bring to your life and their encouragement to you pressing on. A lot of times we lose sight of what really matters during Thanksgiving. Now I don't want to scare anyone away with thankfulness cliches... but I'm not going to daintily touch the subject like it doesn't matter. Because, in all actuality, it does. I could run my thoughts off for 100 pages and it might not get to you. But that's your decision. If I have anything that could help you along in your faith journey, I'm happy. If I can't, then maybe I have failed. But I am going to try, and that is a fact.
I have suffered with depression, OCD, and general anxiety disorder for two and a half years. Growing up you could tell that I had more fear than others in certain situations; my parents left us with my oldest sister as a baby-sitter for the first time, and I was beyond upset and afraid. You look back at my younger diary and see some of the pain written in some of the lines. A question I have struggled with is.. Why?
Why God, was I made THIS way? What purpose does it serve? I have wrestled with that question for years. Yet, I haven't found a sufficient answer for my brain yet. Why does a fourteen year old girl have to feel isolated, full of pain, and so anxious it's pretty embarrassing? Why did I have such strong morals and convictions that breaking them was catastrophic for my brain? I wondered and wondered, spending many quiet moments abuzz in my head, trying to find the answer. I read books looking for solutions, but nothing hit me. I was able to help others by sharing what I had gone through, therefore connecting with others in my situation. Yet, I couldn't control the very behaviors and feelings in myself. Why?
Trust in God. Letting go. I could say it five million times and I might just taste the tip of those phrases. Why is it so terribly hard just to



LET GO

GIVE MY TRUST TO GO

?

?


It's as simple as this:

You have to fall in love.

WHAT? Fall in love?

Yes.

With whom?

JESUS.
If you don't love someone, or even like them particularly, you are NOT going to trust them. If you don't trust someone to take care of your feelings and desires, you will never share with them meaningfully. Yes, you may blurt out your feelings to some random kid, but you probably aren't going to trust them with your life or come back to them again and again for advice. Just think about it. I have found so much with falling in love with Jesus. I don't know all the reasons behind why I am the way I am, but I do know this: God is going to take it all and USE it for His purposes. If you are expecting me to say: 'As simple as that', I won't. Absolutely not. If we were all perfect people. Yeah sure, simple as that. But the sad fact is we are an imperfect people living hopeless lives unless we have an Almighty Savior in our lives. It's hard to trust. We want to be in control. But because it's hard doesn't make it bad. It's amazing. We have another home, being prepared and thought out for EACH and EVERY one of us. Amen to that. So, I will end with saying, I am thankful for each and every aspect of me and how I was made. I am thankful with my struggles because God will use every one to His Kingdom's advantage and to mine. Isn't that amazing?! ~ Love, Delaney