Patience

Patience is hard. This year has stretched me so much in being patient, and holding tightly on to God. There are so many times when I hear that voice saying give up, it's not worth it. But the blessed assurance of the good things God promises to those who love Him has helped me to keep going. Nothing I am is mine, or is a result of me. I am a sinner, who deserves to be forever separated from my creator and from the free blessings he showers upon me. I want to work in missions. It sounds like it would be what God wants. But what if it's not? Or maybe it's not the right time. Maybe it will be one day soon. Maybe it will be when I am old and gray. Maybe there is a different plan for me. But that is the big thing. I AM NOT IN CONTROL. I WILL NEVER BE IN CONTROL. And that, is OK!! Thank you Yeshua, for never giving up on me. Patience, patience, for Your will

Tears, missions, good talks with the youth pastor

Crying over looking at a missions website and a blog... oooh boy, emotions running high. I had a wonderful talk with my youth pastor today though about my boyfriend in Honduras and my want to return to Honduras and to do missions... God is soo good. Reading the blogs of people who went or are on missions trips is breath taking. SIMPLY breath taking!!

Help me to keep my gaze upwards Yeshuah

One two and the third breath stops short
I don't think I can hold on any more
Please hold me Jesus
Please hold me Jesus

Jehovah, Yeshuah, El Shaddai
You see every tear I cry
When times want to push me down
I look upwards
To the sky

Frustration in myself, peace in God

I'm pretty frustrated with myself. I'm having so much trouble being patient. Sometimes I think I'm ok, and then I back to place number 1. Lord, I need Your help! You are the only one who can help me to be at peace and make it wholly through this situation. Thank You for all the help You have given me through Your sons and daughters. I'm not perfect and I'm sorry for my sins. Please forgive me and help me to keep moving forward. It's just one step at a time, one day at a time. All is in Your hands. ALL!! You are in control always. Thank You oh Lord, Let Your will be done always unto me and my life. I'm Yours

Waiting well leads to living well

Esperando bien leads to viviendo bien

Este mensaje fue en mi iglesia hoy... Wow.. fue muy poderoso a mi con todo yo estoy atravesando... Dios tiene muy buenas formas de obteniendo mi attencion.. jejeeje. Yo necesito ser recordado de este mensaje cada dia cuando me siento triste... yo necesito tener paciencia para el plan de Dios

God reveals in His time

Finding your purpose takes time. But when God reveals it to you, don't think the journey's easy or over yet. But, the best is definitely yet to come!

God is good all the time!

Prayer

Dear Lord God, I pray You will show me who or bring someone into my life who will be there for me no matter what You will for my life. I pray that they will be a role model for me and that they will help me grow spiritually in You. I'm really hurting Lord God because I'm looking for someone to turn to who can help me to work to achieve what I want to do for You, and can be there to help me when I fall. I pray I may be of some help to this person as well, and You will lead us both in Your will for our lives. I miss Honduras, but I ask You to make me patient, to help me understand no matter where You bring me. Thank You for all You have brought me through. You are an amazing God and have given me so much to be thankful for. Everything You do/give for me/me I should be thankful for. Amen.

Thanksgiving!!

I am very thankful for all of my blessings this Thanksgiving! Soy muy agradecido para todas de mi bendiciones este dia de accion de Gracias. God is so good!! Dios es muy bueno!! I want to thank You Lord for everything You have given me. Yo quiero a Gracias Senor para todo Usted todo lo que me ha dado. I am so blessed. Yo soy muy bendita.

When you think about Thanksgiving, what pops into mind? Do you think about everything you can get the night/day after during 'Black Friday'? Are you ready to stuff your belly with food and forget about the many blessings God has given us? Like our family, our friends, Himself? His Son, who bled in a torturous death that made recompense for our deadly sins. Our kind neighbor, who watches the home when we are gone. That friend, who never gives up on you whether you try to rid yourself of them or not; what a blessing they bring to your life and their encouragement to you pressing on. A lot of times we lose sight of what really matters during Thanksgiving. Now I don't want to scare anyone away with thankfulness cliches... but I'm not going to daintily touch the subject like it doesn't matter. Because, in all actuality, it does. I could run my thoughts off for 100 pages and it might not get to you. But that's your decision. If I have anything that could help you along in your faith journey, I'm happy. If I can't, then maybe I have failed. But I am going to try, and that is a fact.
I have suffered with depression, OCD, and general anxiety disorder for two and a half years. Growing up you could tell that I had more fear than others in certain situations; my parents left us with my oldest sister as a baby-sitter for the first time, and I was beyond upset and afraid. You look back at my younger diary and see some of the pain written in some of the lines. A question I have struggled with is.. Why?
Why God, was I made THIS way? What purpose does it serve? I have wrestled with that question for years. Yet, I haven't found a sufficient answer for my brain yet. Why does a fourteen year old girl have to feel isolated, full of pain, and so anxious it's pretty embarrassing? Why did I have such strong morals and convictions that breaking them was catastrophic for my brain? I wondered and wondered, spending many quiet moments abuzz in my head, trying to find the answer. I read books looking for solutions, but nothing hit me. I was able to help others by sharing what I had gone through, therefore connecting with others in my situation. Yet, I couldn't control the very behaviors and feelings in myself. Why?
Trust in God. Letting go. I could say it five million times and I might just taste the tip of those phrases. Why is it so terribly hard just to



LET GO

GIVE MY TRUST TO GO

?

?


It's as simple as this:

You have to fall in love.

WHAT? Fall in love?

Yes.

With whom?

JESUS.
If you don't love someone, or even like them particularly, you are NOT going to trust them. If you don't trust someone to take care of your feelings and desires, you will never share with them meaningfully. Yes, you may blurt out your feelings to some random kid, but you probably aren't going to trust them with your life or come back to them again and again for advice. Just think about it. I have found so much with falling in love with Jesus. I don't know all the reasons behind why I am the way I am, but I do know this: God is going to take it all and USE it for His purposes. If you are expecting me to say: 'As simple as that', I won't. Absolutely not. If we were all perfect people. Yeah sure, simple as that. But the sad fact is we are an imperfect people living hopeless lives unless we have an Almighty Savior in our lives. It's hard to trust. We want to be in control. But because it's hard doesn't make it bad. It's amazing. We have another home, being prepared and thought out for EACH and EVERY one of us. Amen to that. So, I will end with saying, I am thankful for each and every aspect of me and how I was made. I am thankful with my struggles because God will use every one to His Kingdom's advantage and to mine. Isn't that amazing?! ~ Love, Delaney

Hole in my heart, whole in the Lord

I don't know when this is going to stop hurting Lord. I just want to cry and cry. I know crying is not going to help, but I'm not quite sure what to do at this moment. I miss Honduras so very much. It's like an empty hole in my heart, that can't be filled. I believe You gave me this desire, but I don't know what to do next, or who to talk to. Please help me have peace in this time. Thank You for everything You have given me, including the wonderful people of La Villa.
Amen

1 Peter 5:10

1 Pedro 5:10(NVI)
10 Y después de que ustedes hayan sufrido un poco de tiempo, Dios mismo, el Dios de toda gracia que los llamó a su gloria eterna en Cristo, los restaurará y los hará fuertes, firmes y estables.

1 Peter 5:10(NIV)
10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

Muchas gracias Senor Dios!

Thank you so much Lord God!

Judgements hurt

When people form their own conclusions about you, and they are wrong,it really really hurts... People want to tell you who you are, and what your reasons are for everything. It makes me really angry. God has put a desire in my heart, and some people see it just as another obsession. My heart yearns for a country and to do good works there for Jesus, yet someone tells me its only about a certain person. Yes I love the people there a lot, but I have been trying really hard to make this not about me, because it isn't. I truly DO want God's will for my life, and I would LOVE to help Him in Honduras, where I feel I am called. Judgements are harsh, and they hurt. Lord God, help me pass judgement on no one. I give all that up to You, because I know it hurts.

El Amor y Dios

a veces este hace mi sentir como un cuchillo en mi corazon, y a veces este hace mi sentir asombroso. Un amor de un pais y una gente es maravilloso, pero muy duro. Dios sabe que tiene en Su plan para mi, y El es en control siempre. Pero para mi, una persona quien es no perfecto, es muy dificil esperar un tiempo sin este lugar... Por favor Dios ayuda mi vivir para Usted y no para mi. Su plan es mejor que el plan de mi. Es dificil para mi, pero Usted puede hacer todo en Su tiempo. Si Usted quiere mi en Honduras, un dia iré alli. Yo extrano toda de La Villa MUCHA!! Me encanta aquella gente.. Por favor ayuda mi ser fiel siempre a Usted, y caminar en Usted forma. Te amo mi Senor Dios... Por favor Senor Dios bendiga toda mi familia por sangre y por el espiritu.... Gracias, Muchas gracias para todo Usted han hecho. Usted esta siempre asombroso... Gracias, Gracias Dios!!
Amen

One day at a time

One day at a time is a hard saying. It takes a lot of strength to go through with it. Strength that we just don't have. Instead of turning to God, we a lot of times turn to ourselves, our friends, our leaders. Don't get me wrong, talking to other people can be helpful, but they can't reveal the plan for your life or direct your every right move. They cannot give you the strength that you so desperately need. When you are feeling weak, you must turn to the Creator of the world. Our Savior, Jesus Christ. Sometimes the days seem to get harder, sometimes better. I struggle with my thoughts, my doubts, my wants, my prayers even. I cry out to God, thinking, WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE SOMETHING YET? His gentle way just wants me to be patient. If I could just wait, my life would be so much more peaceful. Yet our human nature wants control. Here, there, now, later we say to God. Do we really think that the one who designed our complex beings and formed the world can't even direct the paths of our lives? Do we say, no God, not Your will be done, not Your way in my life? If we say we want God to change us, do we really mean it? If we do, we must show it in our attitude and behavior, especially when no one is around. We must learn discipline, trust, and patience. We must learn to run to the arms of the One who yearns for us! Instead of yearning for something of this world, can we yearn for God's path? Instead of putting all our faith and trust in a person who will fail us, why don't we put all of our faith and trust into the One who NEVER fails?? NEVER. Take a deep breath and take that in. Never is a pretty big word. How are we even going to comprehend FOREVER we will be with God, and ALWAYS that He loves us, if we can't even trust and understand that God will NEVER fail us. I'm just another person of this world, but I believe God has a specific and wonderful purpose for my life. I fail, I try to direct my own life. NEVER again do I want to stray from God's way. But it will happen. Someday, somehow. But if I trust Him to keep working with me, I have blessed assurance, Jesus IS mine :) God bless you all this Thanksgiving..

Don't assume, you might be surprised

Your mind thinks you know everything about a person and where their life has been and then BAM... They tell you so much in a trustful way, and it's like the air has been sucked out of you. You start to think that maybe you have had it so so easy and have been so incredibly blind to other circumstances. I have gained so much respect for people like that. They are so incredibly strong in the Lord because of all they have had to suffer. Another country feels like a whole other planet. Everything you thought was, is not quite as it seems. Soon i'm falling further and further in love with the people and the country of Honduras. They may be behind America in money, but the faith of the believers definitely can move mountains. They are so strong it makes me feel like a baby in the faith. And possibly maybe I am. Man, I am going to cry. My heart feels so torn it's almost incomprehensible. So many emotions wrapped in this body called Delaney.. Oh Lord God, I really don't know much do I? Please take me into Your loving arms and show me where to go. I know You didn't introduce these people to me so I could feel stupid, but You are trying to teach me something. I am so amazed and so grateful for all You have done and are doing and will do in the lives of me and my fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord in the beautiful village of San Antonio. Really, I am also so awestruck at what You are doing with Your people here and around the whole world. I only want to serve You for the rest of my life. I hope to do so in La Villa, but that is up to You only. I need only to hold on to You and listen for Your commands, following them accordingly. I don't know everything now, I am so far from it. But You have grabbed my heart by the country of Honduras for a reason, and I wish ever so much to find out what that is.
Delaney

I am in love

I am in love. I am in love with a country and a people. A beautiful beautiful people. I love them, and I miss them so much. It's so hard for me to be away.I wish to be with them but at this moment God has me here. If I could jump on a plane right now and return I would. My heart was buried deep in the Honduran soil. For now, I can have peace in knowing that God has my whole life in Hands. Thank You Lord for all You have done and will do. Please bless and protect my sisters and brothers in Christ here and in La Villa. I miss them. Please return me to them in Your time if You will it.. Gracias a DIOS!!

God is always working

Dios es trabando en mucho para mi. Yo se yo estoy en manos buenos.Vida quizas dificil, pero El es SIEMPRE en control. Gracias Dios. Por favor ayuda y bendiga mi hermanos y hermanas en Cristo en La Villa y en todo de Tu world. Por favor regresas mi a La Villa en Tu tiempo, si Usted quieres y desire it.
Te amo Senor Dios!!
Tu hija, Delaney

TRUE LOVE, GOD'S LOVE

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1Cor13:7 (NLT)

Living in the dark, now in His Light

Ephesians 5:8-11 You used to be like people living in the dark, but now you are people of the light because you belong to the Lord. So act like people of the light and make your light shine. Be good and honest and truthful, as you try to please the Lord. Don't take part in doing those worthless things that are done in the dark. Instead, show how wrong they are. (CEV)

Honesty is the best policy

Wow. I was just honest. and open. and I am really relieved. Yet scared. But the devil is NOT mighty. he will NOT win. Jehovah will be SOVEREIGN... Please take my life oh Lord, take it and make it Yours.

God is always teaching me

Dear God, You really are teaching me aren't You? Well please take me now as a fully given servant.Because, I really am nothing without You. I have to learn so many things in this journey from You if I am going to make it through. Patience. Forgiveness. I get so mad when people aren't there for me who I think should be the closest. When close relatives don't get behind me, it feels like a knife in the stomach. Truly I know, I am NOT perfect. I get frustrated and mad, filled with doubt so easily. When, in reality, Your approval is ALL I should care about. That's the bottom line. Physically, I don't need glasses, but I sure do need some insight when it comes to You. Please grant me Your wisdom as You wish to reveal, and allot to me the portion You have deemed me ready for. I'm Yours. Only Yours. You are my ONLY God, there shall be NO idols before You! If I slip, please help me throw away any idol I have built up. I feel so weak Lord, like I might crumble at the slightest blow. But You are SO in control. Do You notice I keep saying 'but'? Like I should already know and do this stuff. Boy, it's one way to humility, though in truth I should love to avoid it. Please bless my dear sisters and brothers in Christ in La Villa, Livonia, Canton, and Southfield,in Africa, Indonesia, an around the world.. Please feed YOUR sheep oh Senor!! You are HOLY! GREAT AND MIGHTY! THE MOON AND THE STARS DECLARE WHO YOU ARE! IM SO UNWORTHY BUT STILL YOU LOVE ME! I love this song, . Please protect Your children and let Your Word spread like a wildfire. Please help the people of La Villa to walk in Your will. Help ALL the world walk in Your will please!. I love my brothers and sisters in La Villa so very much and I pray you will protect them, guard them, bless them, feed them, nurture them, grow them! If it is Your will oh God, please bring me back to them in Your time, not mine. Help me to be patient, forgiving to those who don't understand, and willing always to listen to good advice which You have put in faithful people to tell me. Please help me soak up Your Word and apply it and hold it in my heart.
Amen

Some thoughts...

Impatiently waiting
Feeling kinda pathetic.
Deep breath inhale exhale
Tears rise and fall
Please take my broken heart
arrange the pieces to Your
plan. I don't understand,
but it's all in Your hands.

Hush little darling,
Your Father is watching
you from above.
He desperately wants to
pour out His love
into your life and
make it new
Like a baby sheep
just come from a ewe.

Please take my little pieces
You put them there whole
but this world is rocking
and I don't want the devil to
take his ugly hold

Please bless my friends and family
in Christ and from You
my Holy Father God
Who's Word is always true

One breath, two..

Jesus has overcome

Jesus has overcome, and the grave is overwhelmed

I can't get away from You, which is a good thing

I can't get away, can't get away, I keep running into You! Gracias Dios para Tu amor GRANDE. Yo soy debil, pero tu eres muy fuerte. Gracias, GRACIAS para todos tu have done para mi. yo no deserve TODO de este vida tu gave mi. TE AMO. Por favor bendiga los personas de La Villa y de Linaje Escogido. Yo encanta ellos MUCHO! Por favor regresar mi en tu tiempo si este es tu plan para mi. Please provide for, protect, feed, and grow the people of Honduras and of the U.S. according to Your will. Please guide our leaders and their advisers. please give them wisdom and help them follow Your will for our countries. I pray You will do the same for the entire world. You are the only one in control. I love you!!
Amor,
Delaney

Life is unexpected to us, but always expected to Him

Life keeps going in unexpected ways. Yet oh Lord you'll be there until the end of my days, holding my hand, in the dark and the light. I'm tired of being frightened, of holding in shame. I want to work for Your glorious gain. Please take my hand, take me through. You brought me into this, and you'll bring me to Your feet one day, in glorious light. Then I will praise You and know that I am a sinner no more, but your precious child, purified in You and clothed in Your holy, righteous light.

Honesty

Honesty at it's finest. I am scared, afraid, longing, yearning, heartbroken, doubtful, and yet so hopeful. I am a sinner, a doubting Thomas, but I know that God can use me. Somehow, someway, someday. He loves me and has my best in mind. When I am at the end of my rope he holds me in his hands and leads me. Where there was two sets of footsteps there is now one, and then there is two again. He never does ANYTHING at the wrong time. He isn't late, lazy or unmotivated. He loves me so greatly I don't know what to do with it. But yet, He always knows what to do with me. Out of the billions and trillions of people to ever live, He has a specific plan for each so intricate, it is impossible to imagine or describe. I can only try to give back some of the love He gave me. It will never be enough. I can work everyday 24/7 every day of my life, live to 120, and never make it up.

It's crazy

Such crazy love

God has a plan!

Jeremiah 29:11
Nueva Versión Internacional (NVI)
11 Porque yo sé muy bien los planes que tengo para ustedes —afirma el Señor—, planes de bienestar y no de calamidad, a fin de darles un futuro y una esperanza.

To be honest, I am not doing too great today. I am sick and so homesick for Honduras. Jesus hold me now please! I am weak but You are strong enough! Te amo!

Good deeds designed for us beforehand

Ephesians 2:10 God has made us what we are, and in our union with Christ Jesus he has created us for a life of good deeds, which he has already prepared for us to do. (GNT)

I am blessed!

I am so blessed. Thank You YESHUA!! I have been given such great love from Him, AND from the Hondurans, and so many others. I do NOT deserve such great love.
Dear God, help me love others as You love them, as You love me. Thank You, Thank You!! Help me sing praises to You everyday!. I fall, but YOU pick me up time after time. Thank You! Help me be patient, for You have it ALL under control. You planned my days; each and every one of them before my birth. You are truly maravilloso, amazing, amor. Gracias oh Dios! Por favor bendiga mi familia en Cristo en La Villa, y en el Estados Unidos y around the world!! Please help those who do no know You; help them to know You by Your love radiated within us who are following in Your will. I do not always do so, I do not always trust You. But I know You CAN and WILL work through me if I let You. So Abba Father, I give it to You. Take my life and do with it as YOU will, not as I do.
Gracias para tu amor y todos tu regalos, please provide us all with the strength and nourishment, soul and body, we need. Please bless the ministry down in La Villa, provide and protect them, and help me help them in any way I may if it is Your will. You know my heart, and that I miss them all so very much, and I want to serve for You down there. I pray You will bring me there to serve if that is Your will. Please straighten the path before me towards You. Please feed Your sheep, and help us feed others Your word with Your help!
Amen

Praise Him in this storm

I will praise You in this storm, and I will lift my hands for You are who You are, no matter WHERE I am, and every tear I cry, You hold in Your hand, You never left my side, and though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm.

Yeshua por favor bendiga mi familia en Cristo y todos people en la villa. Tu eres en control. Yo se Tu eres!! Gracias para Tu amor, el esta muy muy maravilloso. I do not deserve it!! Gracias nuestra maravilloso, hermoso Senor Jesus!! I am but a sinner, a lowly one, but You are lifting me up for Your name and for Your glory! Orar para regresar para Honduras, pero TU eres en control. I give my mind, soul and flesh to You! Hosannah in the highest!!
Amen

God is good ALL THE TIME!!

God is good all the time, all the time, God is good

Thank You my Yeshua for mi familia en Honduras. Por favor protect them y bendiga ellos. Take my life, it is Yours, to glorify You. Por favor regresar mi para Honduras en Tu tiempo si Tu will it be so. Gracias oh Dios para Tu amor grande!! Te Amo mi Savior!
Amen

Over-Emotionality breeds... discontent.

I feel so incredibly emotional right now. It really doesn't feel good. I really need to talk to someone, but I'm not sure who yet. I know God is in control. My human nature just likes to take me down. Dear God, help me be strong and with Your strength overcome my weaknesses. Thank You for everything You have blessed me with. I have far more than I deserve. Thank You. I pray You will reveal Your will for me in Your time. Help me be patient until that time comes, every faithful and hopeful. Please help me not give up. Please make my paths straight for Your name's sake. For Your glory, not mine. Help me throw away all selfishness and cry to You for mercy which I so desperately need. Please help there be someone in my life to encourage me to keep pressing on if this is Your will. Or to encourage me in a different way if You will that. Help me be filled with Your spirit and be able to encourage others on Your path to righteousness. All to Your great Majesty and Glory! Please protect my brothers and sisters in La Villa and at home. Please bless my love and his family, and my family. Please protect them. Please help ALL my brothers and sisters be fed by Your spirit and please help the leaders to feed others Your word, and be fed by You. I love YOU, I love YOU, TE amo!!
Amen, Delaney

Homesick for Honduras

Extremely homesick for Honduras. Not in a great mood unfortunately... Aughh I really dislike being grumpy. Oh Yeshua, give me patience please. "Hold me Jesus, cause I'm shaking like a leaf". If I could get on a plane right this second I would. But I am where God wants me at this second and its not on a plane. Sometimes I think God is just looking down on me and thinking, "If she would just wait a little longer," or "If she would just have a little more faith she would see,"; I wish I had that faith that moves mountains. There is a whole lot of mountains I need to cross. Sigh.

Dear God,
please refresh me with Your tender mercy and strength. Please help me be patient in this rough time. I hurt, but I know You are there for me. I shout, and You are listening. ALWAYS. Thank You Yeshua!! Please protect my brothers and sisters in La Villa, and the rest of the town. Please bless them and let Your love radiate throughout their village. Please help me not give up if this is Your will for me. Thank You for my family in La Villa and for all the kindness they showed me there. I pray You will feed and nurture them, and me and my family. I pray You will protect my family and lead them to You if they are far from You, or close to You. Please clear the way for me to Honduras if You want me there, and help me walk always in Your light and purpose for me.
Amen

Feeling a little sick today; I have a sore throat. Chai tea latte and 4 ibuprofen over the day have helped, and I know God will heal me. Thinking, thinking. I think (haha no pun intended) I will be up late tonight with a racing mind. Not looking too forward to that but maybe God will speak to me through that. Read Isaiah 43-45? today. I don't think I finished 45... Good read. God says over and over again, reminding us, that He is alone God, He is the ONLY one in control, and there is NO other. We tend to make SO many things our idols it's ridiculous. Yes, me. I do it too. I am no better than my fellow men and women walking this beautiful, yet corrupted world. God created a paradise, and we destroyed it. We would have so many less worries if we had just trusted our Savior. But, we blew it. I blow it everyday. Yet the God who created the universe looks at us again and again and says I LOVE YOU!! I will die for you, my precious child. Not my horrible sinner. Not the filth on my feet. He tells us straight out our sin, but we are called His CHILDREN.

Pause and think about that.

Simply



Breathtaking.
Amen.

I love You oh God

I am madly in love with You

I am madly in love with You. I am madly in love with You. All of my life and nothing less I offer to You, You're my righteousness.
-- Steve Fee; Madly

Headache day and Esther

Today I have had a headache pretty much all day. It has been a little bit of a downer, but my day has been pretty good. Took a couple boat rides with family, (on vacation), played a card game, and continued the book of Esther. Struggling to keep praying for going to Honduras and God's will while fighting tiredness. Will pray for strength in this hard time.

Dear God, please give me strength to make it through this time. I'm struggling and I need You so badly at this time. You are the only one who can decide my purpose. I can choose differently, but it will only lead me downward and away from joy. If it is Your will for me to go to Honduras, help the door be open. If You wish I do not return for it is not part of Your will for me, please shut the door all the way. Help me to be open to wherever You lead me. Please protect the people of La Villa de San Antonio and the pastor's family. Please guide them and feed them, bless them and keep them. I love You! Thank You for all the good things You have given me. I am so overwhelmingly blessed and I fail to see that so frequently. GRACIAS MI DIOS GRANDE Y MARAVILLOSO!! You are my YESHUA, my Redeemer, my Friend. Thank You for being my loving Heavenly Father. Amen

God is so wonderful and powerful. The earth shakes and wreaks at His command. The storms still at His single word. Our God is a GREAT one!!

Today

So here's today God. I pray for guidance and mercy for me, a sinner. I pray for the protection and spiritual growth of La Villa and that Your love will radiate through their village and beyond. I pray that I will only return if You see it fit. I miss them very much. Thank You for Your gifts and love that never end. Amen

Today was a beautiful day. I am missing La Villa and the open air there. I miss the people and their joy for God, for their Yeshua and Savior. Praise the Lord for His great works!

Reading Esther. :)

Reasons for return

Why do I want to return to Honduras?
The people
I have found it hard to be accepted here, and when I entered Honduras there were so many compassionate and accepting souls there. I know not everyone would accept me, but I felt home.
The land
Honduras is so gorgeous and God's handiwork just explodes at you
The spirituality
I understood the scriptures when it was taught to me. It was so real and amazing. It was indepth and strong.
The useful feeling
I felt so useful working there. Help building the church was so fulfilling. It was very hard to leave in the middle of it. I really wanted to help them finish.
The Children
The children brought me so much joy and I had so much fun chasing them around. Their smiles and giggles were so contagious
The mentorship
There were older adults there who were helpful in being there when I needed them the most. When I was sad and down-hearted they were patient and encouraging.
Love
I felt God's love so profoundly in Honduras, He felt so close and all-powerful. He has become more of that to me as I have been home, but I felt it so fully in Honduras as I relied on Him. He is making me beautiful inside, and I am realizing that I am beautiful because of Him on the outside too. For He made me
Mi amor -- he accepted me for me. When I was sweaty, dirty, and disgusting he loved me. I love his piercing eyes and gentle and fun spirit. We got eachother and had similar humor. He made me feel so beautiful

I believe God has called me

Prayer for my loves in La Villa

Praying continually for the People of La Villa.
The Pastor's son responded to my message today --

delaney you are so special thanks for your prayers and your attention toward our needs!! this is your home also you are a part of us also! will pray and in Gods' time you can visit us again!! we love you very much

I was very downcast when I read this for I believed it meant I could not return or not yet. True, I will not yet, but this does not mean I will not go or that it is not God's will for me. It is actually an encouragement and a blessing. Their home is my home, and I am a part of them too. I will have to rely on God, for He is the only way to true joy and fulfillment. I am feeling stressed, but will keep praying. Reading a great/hard book by Max Lucado. God is definitely speaking through that to me and also I believe through the Thessalonian books of the Bible.

Te Alabare
Te Glorificare
Te Alabare
Mi Buen Jesus

Thought of the day.. from me

Thought of mine for the day --
If you think you are ready to love, then be ready to sacrifice. You can't get one without the other

God's thought -- 16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. 19 This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20 Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. 21 But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.
John 3:16-21

My sadness can turn into Your Joy

I feel my depression and anxiety kicking in... I hate this feeling. I feel so out of control and I just want to cry but I really can't. Yeah I will get the welled up eyes and the sinking feeling, but no full out crying recently. I miss Honduras and the people so badly. Mi amor also lives in Honduras, and I miss him greatly and pray for his safety every day. I don't want people to think that I only want to go back for him. Truely, I miss him so much it hurts, but it is so much more than him. It is a strong desire to be there and to serve the church. Right now I feel like no one really understands and if they do, they can't do much to help me. But in reality, the only one who can really help me get to Honduras is Jesus. My Yeshua and personal Savior. He has been helping me with encouraging people. I don't like being discontent with where He has me right now. My heart feels like it's breaking. I am trying to convey my love of Honduras to my family without sounding like I just want to get away from them. Because, that isn't true. Coming back actually really helped me realize how much they mean to me. I love them all so much. I have 5 sisters and 1 brother. I have a loving mother and father who are in love with each other and Jesus. They have brought me up well. They have put faith in God and hard effort in these years, and God has provided for them and rewarded their faith. They couldn't have done it without their heavenly Father, and neither could've I lived this life with this much joy without His help and assurance. Everything good that has and will come out of me is thanks to Him. I sincerely believe that and I love Him so much. It has been really hard for me to keep a strong assurance and faith in Him during this because I am WEAK and downhearted, and sinful. At the same time, it has increased my faith tremendously and I am so much more in love with my Father. I hate being a hypocrite and I really am trying to stay in touch with Him. It hurts and is really humbling when you find out how truly weak you are...how hypocritical and sinful. God is so holy and He has so many precious plans specifically picked out for different individuals. Yet we toss them aside and say No, I can do this better God. How foolish! I have felt so foolish lately and childish. You know why? I am not trusting God fully and am not fully letting go. Trying to rely on my own strength. I could sit back and say everyone does it, which is true for everyone at anytime of their life. But God has so much for me. I feel stuck trying to be perfect and do the right thing well fully knowing I can never be. Well that's my confession/sermon for now... Waiting for God's will and plan. In HIS time, not mine. Time to pray and read some more... Got some encouragement from one of the older college guys today about Honduras. God bless him for being a great mentor. I am truly grateful for his interest in my well being and consider him to be an older brother and role model. He wishes to return to Honduras too and I will be praying for him and God's purpose for him. I am also praying for my sister who is going to Nicaragua in January-May for a missions trip. I am very excited for her. Humanly, I do have some jealousy, but I am trying to counter this through prayer for my jealousy, for her, and by supporting her with my tithe. Right now my mind is a battlefield and I long for peace. But! If this is God's will for me to return to Honduras, and it is not all peace until then, I try my best to be satisfied in the peace that comes from God, and the assurance that in God, all things will be made right one day, and that He has plan and a purpose for me. He planned all my days for me before any of them came to be, before my birth.

Psalm 139:16

New International Version (NIV)


16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

It's such an amazing verse that is so mind-blowing. What a great love He must have to plan the days of every single person in the universe before they were ever born
simply mindblowing
Hallelujah!

Never stop adoring Him, even in the pain

Discouraged and feeling down hearted. Missing Honduras so much. Cried last night... I just am having such a hard time being away..

Eres tu unica razon de mi adoracion oh Jesus
en todo tiempo te adorare

Amazement

Is so amazed at what God can do through just another sinner like me. Because to Him, I am not just another sinner. I am a unique creation, a piece of the puzzle to His masterpiece. There is nothing special about me from anyone else, yet He planned out every single day of my life, and what I would do.
I sent a message to the pastor's son (who is a pastor), and the woman on the merge team who lives down there to ask if there is a possibility for me to return for a few months. I sent it yesterday, and being unfortunately a impatient person I am anxious for their answer. I asked them to pray about it and talk with other church members. I am continually praying, and am trying to be patient. It is not one of my strong suits. If this is what I am supposed to do, God is definitely growing my patience in this situation. He is even if I am not going. Decided to keep tithing even though I am saving for a missions trip . My parents encouraged me to continue it and to even tithe when I am given gift money. The great thing about this is that my parents do it themselves, so I have an example to follow. They are not just setting forth empty advice. I truly am grateful for that. God is good all the time. Gracias oh Dios y Hosannah to the Highest!!

Verses for the heart

taking these verses close to heart as I am away from the ones and the place I love
1 Corinthians 13

1 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

biblegateway.com -- Awesome site to look up verses and see translations

Babysitting, Purpose driven life, La Villa

Today I am so tired. It is hot outside and didn't cool off much from the rain. But I still am working my babysitting job nonetheless. I got the Purpose driven life! woohoo. and for free since it was not sold in my sister's garage sale. That is a highlight in my day. Talked to the pastor's son down there and it is going beautiful down there, and he is still working on construction in the church and he is also ministering to the youth with street evangelism. Oh how nice it would be to work construction down there now. I really mean it. Getting sweaty and dirty and building a church for God. Feeling His power and refreshing way in a job that many would hate.

Hard times, open ears.

Hard evening. Was THIS close to full out crying. I'm exhausted. I do not want to stop or give up, yet my fleshly body is crying out with frustration. I need to pray and seek God's will in His word and in the silence far more often than I do. I was upset at a major function that I attend in my life because I believed they were being hypocritical. Ever heard the verse about plucking your own log from your eye before you pick the splinter from your neighbor's? I was ranting on them for being hypocritical when I am was searching out God's will in his Word every day. How much better am I than them? None. Zip. Noodles. Nada. God wrote this huge love letter to me and I just shove it aside? Not cool. Not to mention disrespectful and adding coal to a fire the human race already started back with Adam and Eve. It is like I'm saying "God I have better things to do than pay attention to You and what You want." It's pretty humiliating. Humility is not one of my faults I usually think about. But yet, if you look closer at your life, it might just be an issue. Missing the sweet Honduras and it's people today. What a beautiful place. I hope to soon return. But that is up to God. I need to place this concern at His holy, precious feet and say "I'm done. I surrender." One of my older sisters wrote me a letter when I went away for a trip after Honduras, and she told me to surrender to Him. It has really struck home. Surrender. That fine nine letter word that changes the path of a life forever. Earned a little cash from selling cake pops at a garage sale and have a couple babysitting jobs. God has steadily provided for me, and that I am so immensely grateful for. So what's up God? I'm listening

One day at a time begins with Surrender to HIM

Is going one day at a time. Surrender is so hard because our human nature says I am in control, when in reality I hold next to nothing; if that. Days come when I feel I am going to give up but God gives me chance after chance. I don't know how He deals with me, except that He is God. It only goes to prove how lowly I am and how great He is to give me so much. He has filled my heart with His holy love, I am forever His

His Calling

When you feel a calling, it just doesn't stop nagging at your brain. Back and forth. Should I do this or not? Stressful nights where you just can't sleep. I believe God called me to Honduras and to its people. It is weird writing to nobody. But maybe one day it will be somebody. And if God uses that for good, then I am so honored. If not, this is still going to be one wonderful, hair pulling journey