24 dias!!

It is crazy! 24 days, God willing, until I leave for beautiful, magical, Honduras. It is so crazy to me that I am going. That its almost here! Do you ever feel that sort of excitement? For Christmas? For the presents, the family, the good food, peace? For your birthday? For one more year to pass, for the ability to drive, or to drink, or to get married? To see your loved one again? To see someone long gone due to death, army service, or simply one week's separation? Do you ever get that way when you think about Jesus' second coming? Does it fill you with awe, with expectation, or with dread? Do you feel 'ready'? Are you satisfied with your life now? How can you change how you live in order to better spend your time given here? How can you better prepare yourself for that day? What things really won't matter then, that you are spending a lot of time on now? Should you be spending less time, or no time, on those things? Can you imagine that day? Jesus coming in all of His glory. It's unimaginable. It's beyond our mental capacity to foresee the greatness that will present itself to us on that day. Can you imagine how we will feel, complete? Total peace, joy, fullness. We will lack nothing. We will be in the presence of the Only One who knows us better than we know ourselves. I'm pretty excited about that. It's mind blowing, it absolutely floors me. My small, human, brain is not nearly complex enough to even imagine a small percentage of that day. The God who has planned the life of each, unique individual on this earth, from Adam to the humans living on the earth at the end, He will gather us to Him, and make us finally whole. Close your eyes and imagine that wholeness. Are you excited now?? Having gone through anxiety disorders and depression, imagining it all washed away is mind blowing! It's relieving. And yes, there are many things that I want to still do here. I want to get married. I want to touch many people for Christ I want to have kids and watch them grow. I want to go to villages where people have never heard the name of my Savior, to be a voice in great darkness. But God knows my dreams, and He also knows which of them will best fit in His plan and give Him glory. He wants me to have good things, but He also knows what I really need and what will be best for His kingdom in the end. So, whether I am single or spend the rest of my life in the states, God loves me, and He can't wait to make me whole one day. And He has some pretty incredible plans for my life. So, I will wait excitedly for the day when I meet my beautiful Savior, and for 24 days to end so that I can board a plane and be off to a beautiful country that I have missed with my whole being for over a year. I'M SO EXCITED!! :)

Missionaries are like postal workers

You may be saying "WHAT???" Let me explain 1. We both work rain, snow, sleet, or shine. 2. We meet lots of different people, and go to many peoples' houses. 3. We might deliver news from someone special. 4. Many times we don't receive a thank you for our work. 5. Some people don't like us. They might be mean to us. 6. We drive on the wrong side of the car. Literally for postal workers, more metaphorically for missionaries. We don't follow the status quo, we walk to the beat of the drum of our Lord and Savior. 7. Our work is tiring, and usually lasts for much of the day. 8. Usually we aren't rich. 9. We form relationships with the people we interact with. 10. (this applies for central american missionaries) We meet a lot of dogs. Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

He's not finished with me yet

I'm impatient. I would have been in Honduras a year ago if I could've. I searched and searched for a way back to Honduras, and I started feeling defeated. I thought, 'I'm doing all the right things, I'm reading my Bible, I'm praying, I'm waiting, (though very badly), what is wrong God?' I feel ashamed to think back on my thinking (ha!) during that time period. I wasn't asking God what HE really wanted, I was asking Him for what I wanted. I wanted Him to do His will through me in MY time, which really wouldn't be His will after all. I didn't want to wait, I didn't want to be still, I just wanted to GO. Do you ever feel like I do? Impatient, tired of waiting, asking God why? Why would He make us wait for good things, even for good things that He wanted to do through us? God knew that I wasn't READY yet. Sure, I had passion, fire, love. But my heart was unruly as a young colt. Deuteronomy 8:2 Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. The Israelites had to wait in the desert before they could see the promised land, and God used that time to test and see into their hearts. I truly believe that that is what God has been doing in me. He has been testing me, refining my heart, mind, and soul to better match His purpose for me. He has been humbling me, teaching me that anything good that I do will be because HE did it through me. That my position as a missionary should not be to gain honor or credit for myself, but simply to be the hands and feet of Jesus, giving all the glory, honor and credit right up to Him. It's been hard. But, it has been so worth it! Even now that I have a tentative leaving date for Honduras, I am still being prepared for what God has in store for me. Why is Nate Saint remembered as a missionary? It certainly isn't because He was prideful and showed off. I doubt that he went in with the mindset of getting glory for himself. He was killed for the sake of Christ. He went to a people who had deep darkness in their hearts. The Waodoni didn't know the truth, and they were slaves to this darkness. Nate Saint and his team didn't know what would happen when they went to make contact with the Waodoni, but they knew that these people would live in eternal darkness if someone didn't tell them the truth. Nate was willing to risk his life for the sake of the gospel. Because his life was not about him. And you know what? His work was not in vain. Because of his life and death, and the work of his son later on, the Waodoni came to know Jesus. A isolated, murdering, lost, people came to know Christ as their personal Savior. And they will join us in Heaven one day. How cool is that??!! Here is a quote by Nate Saint: "And people who do not know the Lord ask why in the world we waste our lives as missionaries. They forget that they too are expending their lives... and when the bubble has burst they will have nothing of eternal significance to show for the years they have wasted." How am I expending my life? How are you? Are we like unbelievers, unconsciously (or perhaps even consciously for some of us Christians) wasting our lives, not living out the true purpose God has for us? God has something extraordinary to do with our lives. We need to be open to asking God what HE want us to do, and WAITING for His right time, LETTING Him mold us, even when it hurts. I pray that we all will let God work His unique purpose for each one us, through us. Dear God, please give your children today open ears to hear what You want to tell each one us. Help us to wait for Your timing, and to do right now what we can, and later, what we cannot now. Help our lives to not be about us or our comfort, but about Your will and purposes for us. There are probably millions of people who do not know you, but You know each one of them by name, and You desire so greatly for a relationship with them. Help us to humbly be Your hands and feet in this world, never being ashamed of You or the Gospel of truth. Because in the end, all that matters is You. You set us free indeed! We love You, and I thank You for all that You have provided for me and my family. Please prepare me for Your will for me in Honduras. Amen! May God bless you all, today and always. Dee