Faith is not doubting

I'm exhausted. I'm not sleeping well. I'm worried. I'm stressed. I'm longing. But all this stress has gotten me no where. *SIGH* OK. That's admitted. I guess I'm just looking for more confirmation that this is where I'm supposed to be heading toward. Maybe I imagine some big sign at the side of the road saying "KEEP GOING DELANEY.", or "HEAD LEFT, THEN TAKE THE AIRPLANE ON THE RIGHT." Ok, seriously, that is probably NOT how it is going to happen. True, God works in mysterious ways, WAIT. Those ways actually aren't mysterious at all. Scratch that. Basically what I am saying is that God needs me to learn patience and trust. I'm not going to do that if in a split second I see a sign outside my door saying that I'm ready to go. Unfortunately, my human nature just doesn't like to be patient. I struggle, I fight, I worry and I doubt God's goodness at times. I feel like screaming I NEED A SIGN GOD. I imagine God looking down lovingly at me, saying No you don't. You just need to wait a little longer. And if God can be patient with me every single day of my life as I sin like every other human being, I can be patient too. Isn't that the goal? Becoming like your Heavenly Father? I can't really teach others to be like my King if I'm not being the correct example because I'm having so much trouble in my own faith walk with patience. I want to give a HUGE THANKS to JEHOVAH MY FATHER, for ALL He has done with me and WILL do with me, and I pray that I will stop being like a shifting sea and will cling to my life saver, my Padre en el cielo. I'm nothing without YOU!! AMEN

James 5:10-11
10 Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. 11 As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

James 1:5-7
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.

I'M BLESSED!

Today is Sunday I am blessed. Yesterday was Saturday I was blessed. Tomorrow is Monday I will be blessed. This is a blessed assurance... haha 'blessed'... Jesus will bless me, protect me, guide me, and make His will done in my life if I ask and follow. He knows me better than I will ever know myself. He knew me before I was, and who I was going to be before my fingernails were even formed. He saw me unformed, hidden, in the secret place. HE IS MY YAHWEH, MY YESHUA, MY SAVIOR. Thank YOU Jesus for directing my paths and sticking with me even when I doubt. You know my future, I will trust in You. I will put my confidence in Your Almighty Hands.

Psalm 139:14-16
New International Version (NIV)
14 I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in Your book
before one of them came to be.

Your First Love

God is good. I really need sometimes to just take a deep breath and say that. GOD IS GOOD. Some days are really tough. No joke. But God is shaping His plan for me and I just need to let go. Those two words 'let go' is one of the hardest things I have learned this year. Patience also. You know those sticky notes that you jot notes down on? I feel like I need one plastered to my face saying PATIENCE!... It's absolutely true. Everytime I start to worry I just try to say have patience, knowing that God is totally in control. *SIGH* That wasn't so hard was it? I admitted where my problem lies. Impatience, doubt. I just can't easily sit still and wait for God's best. And I'm going to mess myself up if I keep doing that. Like my title says -- This is a journey that doesn't end soon. Even when I provided with my purpose as an adult christian in this world, the struggles won't end. They never do. But you know what NEVER ends or goes away? GOD'S LOVE. My purpose right now is to listen to God, remain pure, remain loyal to MY First Love. GOD. For some reason I kept getting the phrase "remember your first love" stuck in my head. I couldn't figure out why... But then it all made sense. I need to stop getting stuck in the idols of worry, doubt, obsessing about romantic relationships, and much more. I need to just stop and remember my First Love. JESUS. The One who always looks out for me, never judges me by my outside, who sees the TRUE me and LOVES me UNCONDITIONALLY and COMPLETELY. What about you? Do you remember your First Love?

THERE'S NO ONE LIKE YOU GOD

Water that turned into wine, opened the eyes of the blind. Theres no one like you, none like You, none like You!

Thank You oh Lord God that theres no one like You... You are the one who keeps me going always even when I think I'm done. Please lead me in accordance with Your time. Help me to be where You want me to be when You want me to be. My life is in Your hands. Thank You for all the blessings You have placed in my life...
Amen