Emotions

approx, 70 days hasta Honduras I have so many emotions right now. Some are good, and some are bringing me down. I feel the need to take a million deep breaths right now. Ok, that was one. It's hard to be different. It's hard to have relatives who are non-believers, who don't understand your passion for God's will in your life. It's hard to be 17, and when people ask you if you're going to college, you say, "I don't know." It's hard to be in your senior year of high school, and not have a best friend. It's hard to keep answering people who question your motives and misunderstand your intentions. It's hard. And yet, I have no reason to complain. I have a loving mother and father who support me and what I feel God has called me to do. I have an opportunity to show the love of God to young Honduran students. I have a chance to invest in young people, to be a role model. I have a warm bed, I have lots of food in my belly, I have a perfect God who looks down on me and says, "she's Mine. And I have some pretty great plans for her." That's pretty incredible. I went on a weekend retreat with my youth group this weekend. And I learned something. If I want to influence the world and live out God's will for my life, I need to stop letting satan win over my emotions. People are going to be mean. People are going to misunderstand me. And people may not want to be my best friend or confidant. BUT. I have an everlasting, loving, Creator who wants me to look outside myself and to peer into the hurts and hearts of others. He wants me to focus on their needs, their wants, instead of focusing on my own being fulfilled. It should be pretty obvious to the average Christian. But sometimes, we need a little push, a little kick in the rear end to get us going, to open our eyes to things outside of us. I say I want to help others, I say I want to be a changing force in peoples' lives, but I have to act. Talking does no good if it doesn't produce fruit. And fruit is the real mark of a Christian. It shows that you are living out your faith.

1 Samuel 2:3 “Do not keep talking so proudly or let your mouth speak such arrogance, for the LORD is a God who knows, and by him deeds are weighed."

James 3:13 [ Two Kinds of Wisdom ] Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.

1 Peter 2:12 Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

James 2:25-26 Faith and Deeds 14 What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? 15 Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. 18 But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. 19 You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder. 20 You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless[d]? 21 Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? 22 You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. 23 And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,”[e] and he was called God’s friend. 24 You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone. 25 In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction? 26 As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead. dead.

LORD, I pray that You will make me humble today and always. I pray that I will look outwards to others' hurt instead of inside to my own hurt. I pray that my faith will not be dead, but will be expressed through the deeds that you have predestined for me to do. I pray that I will be a source of encouragement and wisdom to others, I pray that I will shine a light so bright for You that those around me cannot fail to see it. I love you, and I am so grateful for all the opportunities that You have given me to serve and impact the lives of those around me. I pray that You will empty me of myself and any evil inside of me, and I pray that You will fill me up with Your love and truth and Your desire and will for me. Amen.