Faith is not doubting

I'm exhausted. I'm not sleeping well. I'm worried. I'm stressed. I'm longing. But all this stress has gotten me no where. *SIGH* OK. That's admitted. I guess I'm just looking for more confirmation that this is where I'm supposed to be heading toward. Maybe I imagine some big sign at the side of the road saying "KEEP GOING DELANEY.", or "HEAD LEFT, THEN TAKE THE AIRPLANE ON THE RIGHT." Ok, seriously, that is probably NOT how it is going to happen. True, God works in mysterious ways, WAIT. Those ways actually aren't mysterious at all. Scratch that. Basically what I am saying is that God needs me to learn patience and trust. I'm not going to do that if in a split second I see a sign outside my door saying that I'm ready to go. Unfortunately, my human nature just doesn't like to be patient. I struggle, I fight, I worry and I doubt God's goodness at times. I feel like screaming I NEED A SIGN GOD. I imagine God looking down lovingly at me, saying No you don't. You just need to wait a little longer. And if God can be patient with me every single day of my life as I sin like every other human being, I can be patient too. Isn't that the goal? Becoming like your Heavenly Father? I can't really teach others to be like my King if I'm not being the correct example because I'm having so much trouble in my own faith walk with patience. I want to give a HUGE THANKS to JEHOVAH MY FATHER, for ALL He has done with me and WILL do with me, and I pray that I will stop being like a shifting sea and will cling to my life saver, my Padre en el cielo. I'm nothing without YOU!! AMEN

James 5:10-11
10 Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. 11 As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

James 1:5-7
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.