Hard times, open ears.

Hard evening. Was THIS close to full out crying. I'm exhausted. I do not want to stop or give up, yet my fleshly body is crying out with frustration. I need to pray and seek God's will in His word and in the silence far more often than I do. I was upset at a major function that I attend in my life because I believed they were being hypocritical. Ever heard the verse about plucking your own log from your eye before you pick the splinter from your neighbor's? I was ranting on them for being hypocritical when I am was searching out God's will in his Word every day. How much better am I than them? None. Zip. Noodles. Nada. God wrote this huge love letter to me and I just shove it aside? Not cool. Not to mention disrespectful and adding coal to a fire the human race already started back with Adam and Eve. It is like I'm saying "God I have better things to do than pay attention to You and what You want." It's pretty humiliating. Humility is not one of my faults I usually think about. But yet, if you look closer at your life, it might just be an issue. Missing the sweet Honduras and it's people today. What a beautiful place. I hope to soon return. But that is up to God. I need to place this concern at His holy, precious feet and say "I'm done. I surrender." One of my older sisters wrote me a letter when I went away for a trip after Honduras, and she told me to surrender to Him. It has really struck home. Surrender. That fine nine letter word that changes the path of a life forever. Earned a little cash from selling cake pops at a garage sale and have a couple babysitting jobs. God has steadily provided for me, and that I am so immensely grateful for. So what's up God? I'm listening